An Open Letter To President Bush From The Common Man

Mr. President, I like art. I don’t really enjoy musical theater, but I like Shakespeare. I love literature, and have stacks of books packing my shelves. Those books, I mostly bought used; I didn’t receive a government grant. I also enjoy the visual arts, especially film, and I’m not unfamiliar with painting and photography – I even have a few favorite artists. However, I don’t have the time to go to many museums. I work, Mr. President, and I go to school; one day, when I can afford it, I will probably have a family. I don’t see myself being able to indulge in art appreciation any time soon.

I know that you and your friends have the time and money for such cultural pursuits; what I don’t understand, is why you think I should have to pay for your pleasure and edification. Oh, but there I go being crass and selfish by bringing money into the hallowed arts. I know you just cannot put a price tag on the artistic projects funded by the NEA. What is the value of a crucifix suspended in urine, photographs of men with bull-whips up their anuses, the Mother of God smeared with dung, an American flag used as a door mat or a “performance artist” smearing chocolate sauce on herself? Surely, it is more valuable than the food on my table, the health insurance I cannot afford or the savings I would like to accumulate for the family I hope to raise. And by the way, Mr. President, I don’t want you to pay for my insurance or my future children either; unlike the governing elite, I pay my own way.

Mr. President, allow me to offer you a brief synopsis of the free market. If a good or service has a value, people will buy it. Things of value do not require government subsidization. Good art will sell or be sponsored by wealthy patrons, while inferior art will fail. The intrinsic value of art is too subjective for one person or a committee to judge; such evaluations are best left to the free market. The works of Monet and Beethoven will endure forever, not because they are subsidized, but because people are willing to pay to experience them. The pet projects of anti-American, anti-Christian, gay activist bureaucratic art snobs will fail. If an artist is starving, it is because his art is lousy (and he is too lazy to apply for food stamps).

Mr. President, I appreciate your noble sentiments. I understand that you see the value of art, and want to share it with the world. You want America’s children to be edified by history’s masterpieces. You believe that every citizen (and maybe some “undocumented immigrants”) deserves the same cultural experiences that you and your wealthy friends enjoy. But please, Mr. President, pay for it out of your own pocket; pass the hat to Edwards, Kerry, Corzine, Kennedy and Rockefeller while you’re at it. The funds for the NEA come from income taxes, which are mostly paid by the rich, and therefore very little of this burden will be carried by me. However, I’d prefer that the wealthy (who pay my salary) be allowed to keep more of their money so that they can give me a pay raise. All of us would benefit from the arts, but many of us are just trying to survive. We could survive a lot better if you and your friends would take your hands out of our pockets!

Sincerely,

An Average American

JUDSON COX

Judson Cox is a political columnist from the mountains of North Carolina. He is quickly gaining recognition as one of the most popular and influential voices of his generation. As a college student, and Director of Communication for the Foundation for Conservative American Values, he has a unique perspective on matters of politics, economics and culture.

His fiercely independent style and pugilistic wit make for a column that is always entertaining, often inspiring and frequently "laugh out loud" funny. With a humor akin to P.J. O'Rourke and Dave Barry, and a plain spoken southern wisdom that matches Charlie Daniels, his confrontational style lies somewhere between Ann Coulter and Merle Haggard.